You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
