Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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