so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
