: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Randomize
