We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
