Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Randomize
