it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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