Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
