How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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