wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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