I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
