if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
