i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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