What did we do last night that was yellow?
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Oh god it's open bar.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
