this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Randomize
