New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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