it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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