I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I stole a fireplace last night.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Randomize
