Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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