gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
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