Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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