Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
