I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
