His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Randomize
