Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
