Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Randomize
