Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Randomize
