You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Randomize
