yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
