I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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