ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
