We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Please don't give away my fajitas
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
