is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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