But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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