Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
