Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
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