I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
