Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize