so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I supernannyed him into submission
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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