I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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