you mean i was at the winter classic?
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
We have so much sex to catch up on
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize