My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
