i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
