You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize