Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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