This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
