Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
