So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
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