thus making me awesome and them whores
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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