I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize