just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
drinking out of a sandbucket again
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
