try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
