I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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