i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
