They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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