you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
