At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
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