Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
