just tell him i said nine months
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
