My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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