Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
