I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
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