I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
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